I’m sick of waiting room doom and the smell of the paint
it’s not the glory of the end but the length of the wait
I’m not a saint, but i used to really want to be
anything to add an arc to the strained pains of monotony
honestly, heart broke, broke, a joke close to kissing cold chrome
until I blow out the smoke
most don’t know how i talk until they feel it in their bones
and i scramble insides until they match mine so
if there’s a lesson in the grapple and gouge
tell me now, i’m sick of fighting with the phantoms of doubt
my life’s a fight between hope and the presence of doubt
how to live a good life when you’re down and you’re out

i’m a dead man, a dead man
plans fall into ash
as soon as they hit
the palms of my hands
and, and ?
there’s not always an and
it just is what it is, so let go of my hands

and it’s stuck inside my head
and it’s stuck inside my head
and it’s stuck inside my head
I’ll never know why you said what you said
when i broke down, it’s stuck inside my head

I bled to death, just a kid in the morgue
i guess i’ll never get my mind back to how it was before
in the length of human history suffering is common
how foolish to assume that I would stay safe from it
ironic, sardonic cosmos with a timing of a comic
promise me you’ll sit and laugh when the world takes me from it

…

and i can’t feel my legs
and i can’t feel my head
and i can’t feel my breath as it leaps from my chest
in a prayer that was meant
to stop me being here but here is where i went
and here’s where i’ll stay
and here’s where i’ll stay
and here’s where i’ll stay

and it’s stuck inside my head
and it’s stuck inside my head
and it’s stuck inside my head
I’ll never know why you said what you said
when i broke down, it’s stuck inside my head

To my family in the ward, you can have the world
just stay a little longer in the centre of the hurt
just fight a little stronger and you can have my word
we will leave this place together in the ashes and the dirt
life is for the living, death is for the dead
and we are in the former no matter what is said
there’s glory in the fight, there’s honour in the end
there’s love in the trenches there’s god in your friends
i’ll race you to the light, let’s see who gets there quick
playing chicken with Damocles dagger on a string
and when you get to the river styx in a lonely ship
tell him he can suck my fucking dick until the helmet spits

*nostalgic hospital noises - IV bag empty alert and low O2 alert*