The way you're talking I know my goose is cooked but i've never really found a place where I could give it up I'm a magnet for a savage a cushion for a pin I am hopelessly afloat on the oceans of your sin. The way you're talking, I know my goose is cooked but i've never really found a place where I could give it up I fucked you on the couch and your boyfriend didn’t mind but when i see him in the street it feels like now he’s changed his mind i sit and think every now and then when time allows try and trace around the shape of when and where and why and how sitting there in velvet gowns, nothing much to figure out bitfter in the knuckle of a spinster that would sell me out but here i am, regardless of the pain this is not what i was told they call love all the same I wish I made the music that you really like you once told me andrew jackson jihad was really nice i make the opposite, i guess that’s pretty right just another microcosm of every row we have at night and yeah we fight, but the fighting isn’t fair more like a drag out brawl with you pulling at my hair I’m arch-less with a barclays card debt, our sparks wet, and i’m terrified i won’t get to 27, with the way my healths at a bell staff jacket that i pawned to a friend for my bar tab if life is struggle than i’m really fucking living if love is pain, than i feel it every minute if this is love and not a fling that stuck around until we took it to abstraction in the bayings of the crowd I know that she knows I'm not what she asked for No stamps in my passport or degrees on my dads wall, and I know that she knows I'm not what she asked for No stamps in my passport, No stamps in my passport I know that she knows I'm not what she asked for No stamps in my passport or degrees on my dads wall, and I know that she knows I'm not what she asked for No stamps in my passport, No stamps in my passport *pop punk noises* if you look you can foind me (toime) if you look you can foind me (toime) toime toime after toime toime after toime in moy moind in moi moind I know I know i wish i made the music that you really like blink 1 8 something with a touch of razor light andrew jackson jihad mixed with NOFX if i pronounce mind moind will it shiver down your neck frankly i could give a shit, the music makes me sick so kick rocks you boring fuck, and take your impotent nihilistic anthems to the next guy along tell your boyfriend sorry, I must’ve got this all wrong toime toime after toime, toime toime after toime, toime I know that she knows I'm not what she asked for

I’m sick of waiting room doom and the smell of the paint it’s not the glory of the end but the length of the wait I’m not a saint, but i used to really want to be anything to add an arc to the strained pains of monotony honestly, heart broke, broke, a joke close to kissing cold chrome until I blow out the smoke most don’t know how i talk until they feel it in their bones and i scramble insides until they match mine so if there’s a lesson in the grapple and gouge tell me now, i’m sick of fighting with the phantoms of doubt my life’s a fight between hope and the presence of doubt how to live a good life when you’re down and you’re out i’m a dead man, a dead man plans fall into ash as soon as they hit the palms of my hands and, and ? there’s not always an and it just is what it is, so let go of my hands and it’s stuck inside my head and it’s stuck inside my head and it’s stuck inside my head I’ll never know why you said what you said when i broke down, it’s stuck inside my head I bled to death, just a kid in the morgue i guess i’ll never get my mind back to how it was before in the length of human history suffering is common how foolish to assume that I would stay safe from it ironic, sardonic cosmos with a timing of a comic promise me you’ll sit and laugh when the world takes me from it … and i can’t feel my legs and i can’t feel my head and i can’t feel my breath as it leaps from my chest in a prayer that was meant to stop me being here but here is where i went and here’s where i’ll stay and here’s where i’ll stay and here’s where i’ll stay and it’s stuck inside my head and it’s stuck inside my head and it’s stuck inside my head I’ll never know why you said what you said when i broke down, it’s stuck inside my head To my family in the ward, you can have the world just stay a little longer in the centre of the hurt just fight a little stronger and you can have my word we will leave this place together in the ashes and the dirt life is for the living, death is for the dead and we are in the former no matter what is said there’s glory in the fight, there’s honour in the end there’s love in the trenches there’s god in your friends i’ll race you to the light, let’s see who gets there quick playing chicken with Damocles dagger on a string and when you get to the river styx in a lonely ship tell him he can suck my fucking dick until the helmet spits *nostalgic hospital noises - IV bag empty alert and low O2 alert*

i mourn for the time i could’ve lived but didn’t though born in the times of cynical and bitter folk romantic to a fault but what shimmers always isn’t gold narratives they haven’t wrote i live gaps between the tropes and i’m yet to carve a niche, if a niche is what i need and i’m yet to lose an edge, to help me fitting in with sheep and i’m sick of bashing heads with the evil and the weak 7 days a fucking week, i’m a mercenary for these and i know i have a gift, but the gift is pretty vague tell me what it is that makes me master or a slave and people told me all my life i was gonna be great i’m just waiting for the day where it clicks into place prodigal son in the den of the wolves, looking for home caught without a port in a storm memorials in stone all alone at the end of the road, flicking a thumb rolling die at dumb luck, fucking ended up with crohns so if this tapestry is perfect, and god don’t make mistakes and i am fated for the thorny side of what i seem to hate it’s all good ; It’s all great i’ve got no love for the whiners and impiety nihilistic thrashing is a symptom of society why do puppies die, why do bad things take place ? and great men self doubt, and villains are made great ? why am i afflicted with a body that fails? and sit tests on my nerves with no point to avail to take part in a world that i could leave in a day and bleed to death in a ward in the black and the grey ey, it’s all good it’s all great in the end i got a portion of divinity alive in my head i beg, only for a chance so i can put it to use because i’ve squandered all my years in a world of abuse i just wanna really stick around for a while i just wanna really stick around for a while i just wanna really stick around for a while i just wanna really stick around for a while who the fuck am i to shout and rebel? against the fate that i’m alotted and the size of my cell Each person has a part, a part is still a part no matter if it’s long or it quickly departs i just hold my little light, tell i’m sent on my way then i’ll fold into the whole back into clay the suffering is nothing, but the movings of fate it drags along the stubborn but it’s leading the brave i got 26 years right down to the day i got to see my god in action, and sit down and pray i got to see death and suffering and make it away i got to fall in love and love and a feel of good and bad i got to die and make it back, i got this life without a catch i am honoured to be here and here is where i’m at and i’ll take all i can i’ll take all i can i got 26 years right down to the day it’s my song, i’ll go as long as i need drop the beat and bring it back without a fuck to be seen it must be a dream, how i put the sounds in a scene and excavate my dirty soul and make it physically here it’s not a song, it’s a chant, it’s the ether to real from one plane to another it’s just one of my skills you’re hearing the gamut of my thoughts in the ward as i tried to make peace in the middle of war the reason bad things happen, is you label bad normal things in life, you never stood a chance you put your silly wishes on the only thing you have and tentacle surroundings to avoid being sad things are just things, irregardless of our plans let go, follow your fate, follow the free, people die all the time why not me ?

I am gifted with a vantage to the stars some ever after vision, living pious in iron bars mine are scars, whiskey on the rocks, rock bottom bard spin a little yarn little troubadour be calm no such thing as karma cosmic justice is a comfy lie I will try and find a way to make the fucker come to life and I am like, as above so below whichever end that i can grab i will break the fucking mould and i am like to tell the truth is to tell a joke whichever one i happen just to rattle off is magical loose cannon kid with a basket full of marigolds and I am told i won't die young but that sounds fanciful my knotty little thread, that dangles and it sways a puppet in the rapids of the powers of today tell my friends I love em and I wouldn't change a thing my knotty little thread, and it dangles and it swings and it dangles and it swings my knotty little thread, that dangles and it sways a puppet in the rapids of the powers of today tell my friends I love em and I wouldn't change a thing my knotty little thread, and it dangles and it swings and it dangles and it swings

I feel sorry for the sheltered and the weak I found who I am in the black and the bleak sounds that amount to a blip and bleep in a house that exceeds what the council could keep my first taste of love was like 10 weeks late i rose from the dead, in a robe and a cape with last words written on the back of a page that i ripped from a word search i stole from a mate and i keep it in my wallet on any given day i can pull the fucker out just to read what it says it says this cheers, thanks a lot. i was here, and that's enough. I wasn't alive until september 25, 2011 that's the day where i truly felt alive behind the counter of the A+E through the walkway on the right, before you hit the backdoor was where they did the MRI's it was 2 in the morning and i had tried to hide because a nurse that had i fancied was leaving for the night and i was in a wheelchair, and she was looking nice so i faked like i was sleep so i didn't catch her eye i took a pause and looked on at my life and realised that i was riding shotgun on a ride that i could not control, and that i could lose my life and in this second i was living, in the middle of the ride what a honour to be here, and to even have a life that i could lose and i slept in the wheelchair and dreamt of blues, pinks, greys, reds, because tomorrow I could be dead imagine that your whole life in a room gone, just another person in the waning of the moon some, times i sit and try and find the feeling once again but i’m i seem to take for granted until it meets its fucking end from a birds eye view, a look from up above I’m just another person who is destined for the mud no headline for me, this is normal as can be people live, people die, people like me i always knew i was mortal, i knew that going in so why does death surprise me, when it calmly saunters in? I can learn to take what nature thrusts in my lap but the thing that makes me try to breathe and try and make it back is the thought that down the road is my family and the man who raised me as a baby is trying everything he can and i try and reach my phone but i can’t work my hands and i see he’s tried to call me but i can’t call him back it’d be fine, if I knew he’d be fine but I don’t so i have to try and stay alive God, I know the only time that we talk is when I ask you for a stay of my sentence in your court I never thank you the summer, i plead in the winter silence from your son, until he’s needing your assistance. sorry for that, but you know it goes I’m not a sage or a saint, i’m just a man in the throes of losing everything he has, so i bargain my soul for a chance to make it out and chance to make it go I had a feeling that today might be the day i hope it’s not, I hope it’s just another day i guess i live with the misfit and this is the imprint of living what i have and it’s funny because i always wanted to be different and now i am but normals looking kinda good, oh to be a boring man but the fact that i’m not means a lot if my destiny is this, if this is all my lot then i’ll love it till the end coz it’s the only thing i’ve got by definition this is my fate good, cool, okay man that sounds great a saga just for me, my little part on stage i can’t change the end, but i can fucking play perform my little part to the excellence i pray leave a little love and to leave it all in grace and don’t pity me because we’re going to the same place

return to your reason turn back into the clay glory isn't dead you just left it where it lay return to the light come back into the fold virtue is a weapon and a weapon you must hold courage in your actions, but never how you feel move mountains for the light, and never ever kneel rage into the dark, blaze into the light free from the earthly ropes in action and in might cease to be a neutered man, half of what you are embrace your fate with both hands bleeding in your car

Somewhere in the ether where the lights don't flash and blind I feel every ounce of how you made me as a child I made my home in the den of the weird and the bad settled fast to the pace of the nothing that I had picture that, nestled head with a patch at the back wrestled rats for the scraps as you're sending them back and in class I was weird and I sat at the back made you laugh and got A's with no books in my bag ah it's the life that we live, when your home is on fire and the mind of the kid that you are can't make sense of the shit travel so far in your head you eventually flip and warp in ways that amaze and bewilder the pricks that hold you down coz you're weak and they're not so they declare themselves kings ah they reign for a day, i maintain serfdom while they're falling from grace may, you scrabble for the light at the brink of the day and always miss that silly goal in the desperate race pay, the duties of your actions and then measure the space between your wants and your possessions in an envious way ay and i'm here and i'm dying and it pains me to say i take no pleasure in the irony of what happened today I never got the memo, I thought it was a dream do people really live how I see them on the screens? I never got the memo, I thought it was a joke I thought we all agreed that being happy was a trope? Please don't tell me now that my gut feelings right and I'm really looking in from the darkness to the light. So here I am again in the warmth of your glow like some prodigal son who just simply wants to go home a child in the presence of the styx and the boat pressing his ear to the door until they ask me to go the gifts you have given me are more than enough once again i failed to be the most deserving of those I owe the most to the mud and the death and the blood and that's exactly what this vessel that i complacently love is comprised of; nothing more nothing less the clay in the ground picked a name and used it's fucking legs and here we are and we live in our heads in a matrix of opinion on a mercury web the loudest form the net that entangles our legs until we hop to the rhythm of what the other guy said